"Bitterness"
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (Ephesians 4:31)
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15)
Bitterness- a feeling of pain or distress: a feeling of antagonism, hostility, or resentfulness: (dictionary.com)
A woman came home one day and found her four children huddled in the den around something very interesting. She tip-toed over to see what it was. She noticed that they had brought four baby skunks into the house and were admiring them on the floor. She screamed, which frightened the children and the skunks. The children said, “Mother, what is the matter?” She replied with a command, “Run, run outside as fast as you can.” The children promptly jumped up to run; however, each one took a skunk with them!
Sometimes when trying to escape hurt, hardship, or danger, we take the problems or troubles with us. That is what happens to a person who becomes bitter. You cannot run away from bitterness, for it is with you no matter where you go.
Bitterness can be…
Towards another person who hurt you.
Towards God for allowing a problem or storm in your life.
Towards yourself for failure or shortcomings.
This is why I know bitterness is a common problem…
We have all been hurt.
We have all had problems.
We have all failed.
The person who has embraced bitterness is like the bully on the playground who walks around challenging everyone to knock the chip off his shoulder. If we are honest with ourselves, this bully has taunted and tormented many of us to the point of physical and mental exhaustion.
A certain man went to the doctor and told the doctor he was hurting all over his body. The doctor wanted to know the specifics of this man’s pain. The man told him when he touched his foot, he hurt. If he touched his nose, he also hurt. He touched various areas of his body, and the doctor noticed his pain was genuine with each touch. The doctor diagnosed the man with a broken finger. Much like this man, the bitter person finds pain in nearly every area of their life and often fails to diagnose the root of their misery properly. The reality of their misery comes from that root of bitterness.
Bitterness results from our feeling that we have been hurt. That, somehow, we have not been treated fairly, and that the person or persons responsible for the hurt have not been made to pay for it. I think bitterness follows a course or pattern involving four parts.
- Poison
The word "bitterness" in these Bible verses speaks of a poison. Indeed, bitterness is a poison in the emotions of the person who holds a grudge against another. Just as poisoned food brings pain to the stomach and physical systems of a human being, so bitterness brings pain to the emotions and spirit of the individual.
This can lead to physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and social problems on a monumental scale if not dealt with properly - biblically - divinely.
- Passion
Passion- any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, such as love or hate. (dictionary.com)
Passion builds up when a person allows bitterness to take root in their heart.
You can tell when a person is passionate about their bitterness because they won’t let go of it. If you are not careful, you will begin to “love” your bitterness and the appeasement it brings you when you are talking about someone, a fruit of bitterness, to someone else.
- Punishment
The third phase of the course of bitterness is punishment. We desire to see the person or persons who have hurt us punished for what they have done. We want them to pay for the pain they have caused us. We may even try to exact the punishment ourselves. We become spiteful, hateful, and vengeful. In the worst cases, this has even led to physical violence, including murder.
- Publicity
The final phase is publicity. The bitter person begins to make known their feelings by not being silent. Criticism, hatred, and all manner of evil speaking come from this phase of bitterness. When we are unable to clear our own hearts and lives of bitterness, we seek to hurt the other person publicly. We find comfort in destroying another person’s character, reputation, and even their life.
Perhaps the worst thing that can come from bitterness, beyond the damage it can do to our hearts, is its effect upon others around us.
Points to Ponder:
Have you experienced bitterness in the past?
If you are harboring bitterness now, what has caused this in your life? How is bitterness currently affecting you? How is it affecting others around you?
How are you coping with your bitterness? What are some ways you have found effective in dealing with bitterness in your life?